Bad Daddy, Good Daddy

Through both sad and happy experience, I have learned the following things with regards to being a parent.

Parenting methods that do not work:

  • Spanking
  • Yelling
  • Threatening
  • Discomfort
  • Scare tactics
  • Soap in the mouth
  • General pain
  • Endless lecturing

There are those that argue that these methods do work. Granted, they do get reactions and are sometimes effective temporarily. However, the side effects of using these methods are negative and usually undesirable for the parents as well as the children. These methods are usually easier and quicker and come more naturally. As we know, nature is not always the best way. Animals live in nature. Our children deserve parents that are not animals. Parents who use and endorse these methods are little more than children themselves as is self evident in the actions taken which when compared to actions of children are very similar.

Parenting methods that do work:

  • Patience
  • Really listening to what your child says verbally and through body language
  • Putting yourself on their level, physically
  • A kind voice, with perhaps a touch of sternness when necessary
  • Gentle touches, with perhaps a bit of firmness when necessary
  • Concise statements of fact and direction

These methods do work better and have much more desirable long term results and positive side-effects. The major drawback to these methods is that they require parents to actually grow up. To effectively employ these methods, parents must learn how to control their emotions, as well as their bodies.

The key difference in the methods that work and do not work is the person that you are concerned with.

When you are concerned about yourself, your time, your schedule, your plans, your happiness, your stuff, your live, what others think of you, this is when you are more apt to revert to being childish and use method that do not work. Children throw tantrums. Childish adults who have not grown up in this aspect of their life also throw tantrums.

When you are more concerned about the emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical well-being of your child, you are more apt to employ methods that do work. You show that you are truly “grown up” in this aspect of your life when you are able to handle parenting situations calmly and with full control of yourself.

To put it more succinctly, the main difference between what works and what does not, is love and who the target of that love is. Selfishness versus selflessness.

Please feel free to share your own parenting wisdom in the comments section.

FOCA – Good or Bad?

I just received a forwarded email message that was emotionally charged and biased to one side of the Freedom of Choice Act. The message was similar to the one found in this Snopes article:

Freedom of Choice Act

My own first instinct is to be against this “Freedom of Choice Act”. My initial reaction is based on my belief that murder is wrong, children have a right to live, and if a woman made a “choice” that got her pregnant she should take responsibility for her actions. In most cases, abortion is a done to avoid taking responsibility for actions. Negative consequences are the results of bad choices. If we do not take responsibility for our actions, we learn nothing from our mistakes, which means that we keep making more and worse mistakes.

That is my perspective on abortion.

I have only just recently learned of the Freedom of Choice Act. So the jury is still out on it for me.

I would love to hear your opinions and facts that you have learned. Let us help each other be more informed on this topic so that we can make a wise and well thought out judgement.

Here is some More Information that I have found on this Topic: